Patterns

I was searching through old booklets on antiquepatternlibrary.com to find a design I needed, and so many of the patterns were gorgeous. Flowers, and fruit, of course, and insects and various animals. Some of them were fantastic type creatures. Crowned eagles and griffins. Aren’t they wonderful?

Courtesy of antiquepatternlibrary.com.

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Putting Down Roots

There is nothing as lovely and soothing as the place I live. 🙂 I am finally beginning to be reconciled to my home, I think. I begin to love the green fields, green trees and hedges, fuchsias trimmed into hedges, ubiquitous seaside. I’m putting down roots, with one strong tap root into the land itself, and nature here.

I have a regular post I’m writing, and hopefully I will be able to post it soon. We’ll see if I actually write this week! Eye roll

God bless!

Journal

I’m still at home at the moment. I struggle with feeling lonely, and sometimes jealous. I’m so aimless and useless. My younger sisters are my best friends, right now, keeping me from feeling like that, because we hang out a lot, and they look up to me, much more than they should, and seem to “need” me. Studies usually feel without purpose. I don’t have any set work. I suddenly realized recently how much I have relied on my work as an author. It gave me enough purpose to get through the days and actually feel like I was accomplishing something. I’m not writing right now. I thought pursuing a job as a more long-term solution more important at the time. But how important is my peace of mind?

I shouldn’t complain. I do have friends, and time right now to get my life together and help with chores at home without a childcare position. But when I’m not working I have to think, and the only things that come to mind are the possibility of my family leaving the church I love, and the half-finished novel I stopped writing earlier, and the desire to get married. Gah. Hopeless.

Fleece is in the sky. I’m getting a new swimsuit. All things to be thankful for. I wish I’d cheer up! 😀

I found this gem yesterday, specifically the last stanza. It lifted my heavy heart at the time.

DEMOGORGON:
Man, who wert once a despot and a slave;
A dupe and a deceiver; a decay; 
A traveller from the cradle to the grave
Through the dim night of this immortal day:

ALL:
Speak: thy strong words may never pass away.

DEMOGORGON:
This is the day, which down the void abysm
At the Earth-born’s spell yawns for Heaven’s despotism, 
And Conquest is dragged captive through the deep:
Love, from its awful throne of patient power
In the wise heart, from the last giddy hour
Of dread endurance, from the slippery, steep,
And narrow verge of crag-like agony, springs 
And folds over the world its healing wings.

Gentleness, Virtue, Wisdom, and Endurance,
These are the seals of that most firm assurance
Which bars the pit over Destruction’s strength;
And if, with infirm hand, Eternity, 
Mother of many acts and hours, should free
The serpent that would clasp her with his length;
These are the spells by which to reassume
An empire o’er the disentangled doom.

To suffer woes which Hope thinks infinite; 
To forgive wrongs darker than death or night;
To defy Power, which seems omnipotent;
To love, and bear; to hope till Hope creates
From its own wreck the thing it contemplates;
Neither to change, nor falter, nor repent; 
This, like thy glory, Titan, is to be
Good, great and joyous, beautiful and free;
This is alone Life, Joy, Empire, and Victory!

Are you ever lonely? 🙂

A Most Beautiful Bouquet

“There grew pied wind-flowers and violets,
Daisies, those pearl’d Arcturi of the earth,
The constellated flower that never sets;
Faint oxlips; tender bluebells, at whose birth
The sod scarce heaved; and that tall flower that wets—
Like a child, half in tenderness and mirth—
Its mother’s face with heaven-collected tears,
When the low wind, its playmate’s voice, it hears.

“And in the warm hedge grew lush eglantine,
Green cow-bind and the moonlight-colour’d may,
And cherry-blossoms, and white cups, whose wine
Was the bright dew yet drain’d not by the day;
And wild roses, and ivy serpentine
With its dark buds and leaves, wandering astray;
And flowers azure, black, and streak’d with gold,
Fairer than any waken’d eyes behold.

“And nearer to the river’s trembling edge
There grew broad flag-flowers, purple prank’d with white,
And starry river-buds among the sedge,
And floating water-lilies, broad and bright,
Which lit the oak that overhung the hedge
With moonlight beams of their own watery light;
And bulrushes, and reeds of such deep green
As soothed the dazzled eye with sober sheen.

“Methought that of these visionary flowers
I made a nosegay, bound in such a way
That the same hues, which in their natural bowers
Were mingled or opposed, the like array
Kept these imprison’d children of the Hours
Within my hand,—and then, elate and gay,
I hasten’d to the spot whence I had come”

Percy Bysshe Shelley

I love parts of the poem almost as much as a walk in the flowers, but not completely. 🙂 I still prefer my fresh impressions to elegant expressions. To see a flower is less self-flattering than to appreciate a poem….

The Pool of Bethesda

There seemed to be a time when miracles were more or less available to people. An angel put healing power into the pool of Bethesda, traditionally, for any person who wanted it. Not everyone could have it, of course, there was a limit even then, just like there is a limit to any beneficent liberality. Still, it’s liberal, and heavenly rather than carnal. Kindness from people is pleasant, but kindness from an angel would be more pleasant. I may have a guardian angel, but if so, then he has been very silent. And even Christ is not as liberal as he was.

If an angel offered me a gift, I would tell him to pierce out all the difficulties in front of me, in my path, and cut out all the impurities in my own character, heart and mind. It would be the most glorious liberality. Even if I did not have healing or even guidance, this is what I would ask for. If he denied that, I would ask for healing. It may be that healing is the only thing I can get, and anything else is beyond miracles.

And no angel has ever offered me a gift. Oh, well.

I am afraid of being discontent. The man at the pool of Bethesda did not get help from an angel, but from Christ. From Christ I do still hope for healing, if for nothing else beyond salvation.

I am certain of it in the fields of heaven.

Do you believe that you have a guardian angel?

Eglantine Forest

Hello, 🙂

I want blogging to be a positive experience, so I’m going to fill it with light, life, beauty, exultation, greenery. Not everything is under my control, however. It may be even the depressive buzzard will have a place in the scenery. I hope not…

But to introduce myself to anyone who isn’t already my friend, I’m Juliet, and what I lack in grace and godliness I attempt to make up for with faith and eagerness. 😀 I’m a Christian. I’m a libertarian. I’m homely, and a little bit lovely-apparently.

I’m going to try to write about certain thoughts that occur to me like buds, that seem most comprehensible. You’ll see what they’re about if you stay!

I hope you enjoy!

God bless,
Juliet